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Every mother has faced multiple situations where she questioned her parenting skills. The questions that stay unspoken create louder echoes than when people actually speak them. “Am I a good mom?” I never ask this question to my friends nor do I post it on social media. The question often appears to me during quiet nights when the house is still and I am in bed thinking about my poor parenting choices. Mother smiles with closed eyes while hugged and kissed by two children. One child wears pink, the other stripes. Emotional and warm scene. I remember the instances when I lost my temper. The missed cues. The rushed mornings. The lunchboxes packed with guilt instead of creativity. When someone asks me to see something I respond with "in a minute" but I never appear because something else always becomes more important. And then, I wonder… does love outweigh imperfection? The thing I considered important turned out to be less significant than I thought. Could it have waited a few moments? The Myth of the Perfect Mom Social media platforms along with motherhood books and classroom bulletin boards present a fabricated image of the "good mom" who makes themed snacks and attends all recitals and remembers picture day and never loses her temper. But here’s the truth: she doesn’t exist.  At least not in the way we imagine. If she does, I would love to meet her and learn her secrets. Real motherhood is messy. It’s showing up when you’re bone-tired. It’s saying “I’m sorry” when your patience runs out. It’s packing the same lunch three days in a row because life happened. And it’s loving your child so fiercely that you’d rewrite the stars for them if you could. The key to being a good mother lies in continuous effort rather than perfect execution. Children do not require parents who are flawless in their actions. Children require parents who remain present even when they make mistakes. Your children learn about trust through your actions when you apologize after losing your temper and attend their dance recitals or soccer games despite exhaustion and control your urge to yell. The act of trying does not require perfect execution at all times. You demonstrate your commitment to their importance through your dedicated work. Children joyfully run through a grassy field, wearing colorful shirts. Trees and a cloudy sky form the backdrop, conveying a sense of freedom. A mother who makes an effort even when she feels uncertain teaches her child valuable resilience skills. She demonstrates to her children that failure is acceptable because it allows us to adjust our path and continue our journey. The lesson she teaches goes beyond any cleaning schedule or organized play area. A child who witnesses their parent fight through difficulties understands that personal development remains achievable and meaningful. To try is to love. It’s waking up in the middle of the night to soothe a nightmare. It’s preparing peanut butter sandwiches while writing notes for the lunchboxes. The parent's presence at school meetings combined with their doctor's office questions and their 2 a.m. search for anxiety help on Google demonstrates their dedication. Love isn’t polished — it’s persistent . And persistent love is what makes a good mom. The Invisible Good Mom We often fail to recognize the numerous positive actions we perform. Such as, the bedtime hug that softened a rough day. The pep talk given in the car before school. The moments we chose understanding over control. Your child will not recall every chore chart or Pinterest-worthy lunch. But they’ll remember how it felt to be loved by you. Children tend to forget the specifics of their daily activities. The child will not remember whether their sandwich was cut into stars or if the playroom was organized by color-coded bins. But they will remember the feeling of safety when you tucked them in after a hard day, the comfort of your voice singing off-key in the car, and the warmth of your hand squeezing theirs when they were nervous. Love is sensory. Your hugs and their room entry smile and your listening during their wordless moments all become stored memories.   Memory is selective. A child’s brain is wired to retain emotionally charged moments — and the ones charged with love often rise to the top. The time you sat beside them without rushing when they were afraid. The moment you defended them in front of others. The quiet way you showed up every time they needed someone. The act of folding ten loads of laundry and preparing meals like a professional does not receive any recognition and your child will likely never express gratitude for the balanced meal. Your child will remember your presence more than any Pinterest achievement. Parenting requires more presence than it does dazzling displays. The most powerful motherhood actions often exist outside of visibility because they include worrying and spending sleepless nights while putting your needs second to your children. So what makes a good mom? A good mother demonstrates her love by making her child feel understood. Making them feel heard. Making them feel accepted, even on the messiest days. The truth is that they may not always express their feelings. But they feel it. In your tone. In your forgiveness. In your stubborn belief in them, even when they don’t believe in themselves.  So… am I a good mom? A smiling woman and child hug on a couch, holding a handmade card with a heart. Light curtains create a warm, cozy atmosphere. The true indicator of good motherhood exists beyond flawless behavior because it stems from being present. Showing up in the imperfect yet lovely reality of life constitutes the true measure. Every day. Even when it’s hard. The fact that you are asking this question indicates you have already demonstrated the qualities of a good mother. Make sure to check out my children's books on Amazon (More Than A Trophy and The Sock That Wouldn't Give Up!)

Hands holding a small green plant in dark soil, set against a light gray, textured background, conveying growth and care. The hormonal changes during puberty, which include estrogen, progesterone, and testosterone, cause ADHD symptoms to become more intense or change in nature. I have three children, including a 14-year-old son. I feel like he entered puberty, and I didn't even see it. He has acne, not too bad, and he has/had girlfriends. His voice has definitely changed, and it seemed like it happened overnight. He shot up to the point where he rests his chin on top of my head. He loves doing this. I also have 11-year-old twins; they are boy/girl twins. The boy twin shows small signs of puberty: hair under the arms and on his legs. He, too, seems to have gotten taller overnight. He still plays with toys and wants sleepovers with mommy and daddy. His twin sister, on the other hand, just started her cycle. She threw away all her dolls and kiddie toys but still wants anything to do with arts and crafts. She is heavily into make-up but not yet into boys. However, she also has ADHD. There are times when I feel her ADHD and puberty clash in a sense. The hormonal changes of puberty lead pre-teens/teens with ADHD to experience more intense mood swings, irritability, and emotional outbursts. The executive function challenges of ADHD become more difficult to manage during adolescence. I could sense something was off before my daughter started her cycle for the first time. We were butting heads. My daughter would NEVER talk back, yell at me, or roll her eyes. But I found myself one day going toe to toe with her. The very next week, "Aunt Flo" paid us a visit. The hormonal changes in the body affect how well ADHD medications function, particularly for female patients. The effectiveness of medications varies throughout the menstrual cycle for some patients. The combination of social and academic stress during puberty creates overwhelming challenges for pre-teens/teens with ADHD. My daughter has only had her cycle twice, but each time, right before it happened, her signs were a precursor for the person receiving. During both times, she was still taking her ADHD meds, both doses, so this prompted me to find out what, if any, was the correlation between ADHD and puberty. Boys vs. Girls: Different Journeys • Boys tend to display externalized behaviors through impulsive actions and risk-taking behaviors because of their increasing testosterone levels. • Girls tend to internalize their problems which results in underdiagnosis. The hormonal changes in estrogen and progesterone levels can influence both mood and how well patients respond to medication. A Deeper Link: Early Puberty? Some research indicates that ADHD children face an elevated risk of developing central precocious puberty (early onset puberty) although scientists have not identified the complete causes. I have been advised that putting either one of my ADHD children, my oldest also has ADHD, on meds would produce early puberty of any kind. Although I do not believe that to be true, there are so many that do. A glowing light bulb is surrounded by unlit bulbs on a dark background, highlighting contrast and focus on the illuminated bulb. The differences in ADHD presentation between boys and girls become more pronounced during puberty because of both biological factors and social reactions to these differences. My husband and mother in-law both have ADHD. I am sure there are members on myside of the family who may have it. There are times I believe I do lol. The following section explains the main distinctions between their experiences. Boys: Loud, Risky, and Often Noticed Hyperactivity & Impulsivity : Boys are more likely to show external behaviors — fidgeting, blurting out, interrupting, or acting without thinking. Risk-taking : Rising testosterone levels during puberty can increase thrill-seeking and impulsive behavior. Behavioral issues : Boys with ADHD may be more prone to oppositional defiant disorder or conduct issues, especially if they feel misunderstood or rejected. Earlier diagnosis : Because their symptoms are more disruptive, boys are often diagnosed earlier — sometimes as young as 6 or 7. I’ve seen all of these behaviors in my 14-year-old—from a much earlier age and continuing into now. He constantly blurts out random things, often at the most unexpected times. He’ll repeat the same phrase over and over. Sometimes he does things—especially the blurting—without thinking. Before he started medication, he was getting into trouble at school. In elementary school, he was known as the good kid—the smart one, the helper, the one who would lend a hand. But once he entered middle school, he was still all of those things… just with puberty and ADHD added to the mix. That combination changed everything. Our inbox was constantly flooded with emails from his teachers, and our voicemail was always full. Sixth grade was rough. Some of those symptoms may have presented itself when he was 6 or 7 but at that age, to use, kids were just being kids. Girls: Subtle, Emotional, and Often Overlooked Inattentiveness : Girls tend to daydream, lose focus, or appear “spacey,” which can be mistaken for shyness or laziness. Emotional sensitivity : Hormonal shifts (especially rising progesterone) can intensify mood swings, anxiety, and low self-esteem. Medication fluctuations : Estrogen can enhance the effects of ADHD meds, while progesterone can dull them — leading to a “rollercoaster” of symptom control across the menstrual cycle. Delayed diagnosis : Girls are often diagnosed later — sometimes not until middle or high school — because their symptoms are less disruptive. My daughter, who is 11, is beginning to show some of the same signs my 14-year-old son displayed around the same age—except for the blurting out. She definitely spaces out, especially when she’s had enough of whatever is going on. We call it “her social battery has run low.” There have been times when this behavior has been misread as disinterest or laziness. But that’s far from the truth. Her energy level drops significantly—especially during that time of the month. And if you’re a woman reading this, you know exactly what I mean. She’s still new to puberty and has only had her cycle three times, but I’ve already noticed a pattern. As her cycle approaches, her moods shift. Sometimes she becomes quiet, sometimes overly affectionate, and other times she can be a little mean. The mood swings are real. Why It Matters The failure to diagnose girls properly results in extended periods of mental distress and academic failure and anxiety. The incorrect identification of high energy as ADHD in boys leads to overdiagnosis without proper diagnostic assessment. The period of puberty marks a crucial moment for both genders because symptoms either become more pronounced or change direction or fade away thus requiring essential support and comprehension. I was very apprehensive about putting either of my kids on ADHD medication because I wasn’t sure it was the right decision. I didn’t want them to become “dependent” on the meds or feel like they couldn’t function without them. But my son’s grades were slipping because he couldn’t focus, and homework had become a nightmare—he was crying regularly. Once we started the medication, he returned to being the straight-A student he had always been. No more emails or phone calls from the school. He still has moments of blurting out, but that’s usually when he’s off the medication—on weekends or during the summer—since we don’t require him to take it then. During those times, he takes a much lower dosage because he doesn’t need to focus as intensely. As for my daughter, when she was first diagnosed in fourth grade, we chose not to start medication because her diagnosis wasn’t affecting her schoolwork or behavior. We had her tested because she was showing signs, and we wanted to understand what was going on—for ourselves and so her teachers would be aware. She’s also autistic, and she likes to wear headphones, so having documentation helped her teachers understand and support her needs. It wasn’t until fifth grade that she told her psychiatrist she wanted something to help her concentrate. She said she was having a hard time staying focused in class and at dance. Once she started medication, her teachers noticed a slight difference. Since she’s in elementary school, the most noticeable change was that she wasn’t as fidgety at her desk and didn’t space out as much. Her academic performance remained at an honor roll level. The social challenges of puberty become even more complicated when ADHD enters the picture because friendships become like trying to navigate with a constantly spinning compass. Executive Function Meets Social Function ADHD affects executive functioning, which includes skills like impulse control, emotional regulation, and attention — all of which are crucial  for building and maintaining friendships. During puberty, these challenges often become more pronounced. They can present in ways such as interrupting or dominating conversations. Pre-teens/teen with ADHD may blurt things out or talk excessively, which can frustrate peers. Missing social cues is another form that shows up. They might not notice when someone’s bored, annoyed, or trying to change the subject. Forgetting plans, birthdays, or inside jokes can make friends feel unimportant. Mood swings and overreactions can lead to misunderstandings or conflict. The Friendship Struggle Is Real Pre-teens/teen with ADHD may be “all in” one day and distant the next, which can confuse or hurt frien ds. Social a nxiety or rejection sensitivity; they might fear being judged or rejected, leading to withdrawal or clinginess. Trouble with conflict resolution is a true struggle for many but especially for those with with ADHD. They have difficulty seeing others’ perspectives can make it hard to repair rifts after disagreements. Three children in school uniforms playfully hang on a black railing against a red brick wall. Blue bags are on the ground. Gender Nuances Girls  with ADHD may internalize struggles — feeling left out, anxious, or overly self-critical when friendships falter. Boys  may externalize — acting out, becoming bossy, or gravitating toward riskier peer groups. What Helps? Social structures provide excellent support networks for people. Pre-teens/teen can find secure environments to connect through clubs and sports teams and interest-based groups that have adult supervision. The development of confidence requires practicing perspective-taking also known as Social Coaching together with turn-taking and learning to read the room. Open discussions enable pre-teens/teen to grasp how ADHD impacts their relationships with friends. The ability to self-advocate develops through this experience. ADHD exists throughout every aspect of life beyond school and work environments because it infiltrates all areas of existence in unexpected ways. My daughter is on a dance team, her twin brother is on a soccer team and my oldest son is on a weight team, all social clubs. All of these I believe have help them develop those social cues needed, especially the two who have ADHD. Daily Routines & Organization The natural process of puberty creates a challenging experience but children with ADHD face a much more intense period marked by changing emotions and disrupted sleep patterns along with impulsive choices and unclear time perception. During such times of turmoil a daily routine transforms into a vital source of support. The routine provides children with stability when every other aspect of life appears unpredictable even though it does not resolve all problems. A daily routine helps to bring order to the confusing situations. ADHD makes it challenging for people to plan their future or keep track of upcoming events and puberty makes this problem even worse. The daily schedule functions as both a mental and visual guide that shows the sequence from waking up to breakfast to school and homework to play and dinner and bedtime. It's not rigid—it’s reassuring. The routine provides children with clear expectations about what needs to be done and when thus reducing their anxiety regarding unknown events. During puberty Executive function suffers from degradation. The brain undergoes rewiring during puberty but this process intensifies the natural difficulties that ADHD children face in task transitions and time management. A daily routine gives external cues and scaffolding. The child depends on structured routines as their anchor during times of emotional struggles or intense focus because internal motivation can be unpredictable. Sleep regulation proves to be extremely difficult for ADHD children but puberty makes this challenge even more complicated. Children benefit from a consistent bedtime protocol which includes dim lighting and quiet activities and calming dialogues to restore their body rhythms. Improved sleep quality enables children to better regulate their emotions while improving their thinking abilities and reducing their explosive outbursts. A daily routine serves as the foundation to build confidence in children. Children who understand what will happen next develop confidence through their small achievements such as brushing teeth correctly and completing homework and remembering dance shoes. Children in this stage of development need to feel capable because worthiness becomes a central concern. Daily routine works through steady consistency rather than perfect execution. It’s not just for managing behavior. Through this practice children gain emotional security because they receive reassurance that they are not alone in their experiences. Is there a way you would like assistance creating a sample routine which meets your child's needs and suits their personality? We will create a routine which will provide a comfortable framework while maintaining flexibility and giving your child power to control their daily activities. Without a routine my children are all over the place, I'm all over the place. I will plan out my next day the day before. Mostly because I don't want forget what I need to do because we always have so much going on. Sometimes having a routine can be challenging. For my daughter, if she has a routine that she is used to and something interrupts that routine, she has a meltdown. If she is used to having waffles in the morning and we run out, although there are plenty of options in the house that she likes, that is not what she is used to in the morning and not what she was looking for, so she is thrown off for the morning. I try to make sure the routine is a routine that is so structured for somethings so that if something if waffles are missing one day, we are ok. For example, I will tell her on Mondays you can have waffles or toast. Tuesday you can have pancakes or waffles, Wednesday you can have waffles or a fruit bowl and so on. You can see waffles is something she loves but she has a second option everyday that she can pick from that she will eat and it's on the routine schedule. If I run out of waffles on Tuesday, she knows she can have pancakes and that gives me time to go pick up some more waffles for Wednesday. Now, I run out of pancakes and waffles and it's Tuesday, well it won't be a good morning for anyone but we avoid that as best as we can. Advocating for your child People with ADHD experience large emotional responses that sometimes become overwhelming because they occur too quickly or last too long. Emotional challenges serve as primary issues for numerous individuals who experience them. The following section presents an analysis of this experience. The act of advocating for your child who has ADHD represents a strong expression of love and protection along with empowerment. Your role as advocate means you will defend your child from misunderstandings while protecting them from system failures and teaching them to assert their needs independently. The following guidance will help you take on this role with both clarity and confidence. The process of advocacy unfolds gradually because you do not need to accomplish everything simultaneously. Every action you take during advocacy work leads your child toward better visibility and stronger support and increased confidence. I am ready to assist you in writing a teacher letter and preparing for school meetings and developing methods for your child to express themselves effectively. The correct support system enables people with ADHD to overcome their full-body and full-life condition so it does not become a limiting factor. The world has different ways for people to navigate through it and this alternative method holds equal worth and value. Finding out what works best for you and your child is what is most important. There really is not book that will teach you that. Some say meds, some say diet some say nothing just let it work itself out. It is up to you. The most important factor is to listen to your child and be there for them and yourself.

Why Am I Here? Have you ever paused during your day to wonder, "Why am I here?" What makes you unique among the billions of people around you? As I write this blog, I'm also pondering: What sets my blog apart from others? What makes the stories I share, the book I published, or the ones I plan to publish distinctive? Vintage typewriter keys with glowing blue and orange outlines create an abstract pattern. In the past, these thoughts would lead me to close my laptop and set down my pen. I would tell myself that there was nothing special about my perspective—so why even bother? But not anymore. The truth is, my uniqueness is not something I have to prove or search for. It has always existed within me. What makes me different is simply me—and that is more than enough. Defining Purpose for Myself I once believed that purpose was something given to you. It felt like a job title or a life goal. However, as I searched for it, I realized that defining it is my responsibility. Late one night at 3 AM, I found myself staring at the ceiling. I wondered whether I was on the right path. I had checked all the boxes: a good job and a stable routine. Yet, something still felt missing. Was I truly living my purpose, or was I just existing? That was the moment I reached for my pen and notepad on my nightstand. I thought, " This would make the perfect blog post. " Ah! See? My purpose. The Journey Through Uncertainty Discovering your purpose can feel like navigating through dense fog. You may see very little ahead, but each step brings you closer to clarity. Open road with dotted white lines stretches towards the setting sun, flanked by dry grass and mountains in the distance, evoking solitude. Sometimes, the fog thickens, and doubts about your direction surface. I often questioned myself, asking, " If I start this journey as a blogger, would anyone care? Would people mock me? " I spent too much time worrying about others' opinions. This led me to neglect what truly made me happy. If even one person seemed skeptical, I would abandon my idea. I let others dictate my purpose instead of defining it myself. Reclaiming the Joy of Writing There was a time when writing no longer felt like joy for me. Instead, it became an obligation, burdensome rather than fulfilling. My words, filled with frustration, were designed to provoke rather than inspire. I stopped writing for myself and instead sought validation from reactions. And that was no longer enjoyable. Your purpose might not always announce itself. Often, it reveals itself through joy and challenges that push you forward. For long, I battled with the idea of writing full-time, but I knew it wasn’t financially feasible. I dismissed writing as just a hobby, even as doubt lingered in my mind. A Question That Changed My Perspective One day at work, my boss asked the team to reflect on our purpose for our evaluations. I resented that question. I had no idea what my purpose was within that company. Yet, it sparked a thought—perhaps my purpose wasn't tied to a job title or a workplace at all. Maybe it was something larger. People often expect their purpose to come with clear signs of direction, outlining their exact destination. In reality, it unfolds through action—through the small choices you make, the tiny victories you celebrate, and even the challenges you overcome. Your path to purpose isn't simply handed to you. It's shaped by the passions that ignite you, the moments that make you feel alive. Embrace your creative identity. Reflect on your career, and consider a purpose-driven life with confidence in your choices. Understanding the Evolution of Purpose Some find their purpose in a sudden moment of clarity, while others gradually piece it together, like assembling a puzzle without a reference image. This is perfectly acceptable. Purpose does not have to be identified all at once. It evolves, reshaping itself as you grow, refine, and embrace it over time. When I returned home, that question about my purpose lingered in my mind. I reflected on it while reading to my kids and jotting down story ideas. I recalled the positive feedback I received, about how well-written and thoughtful my words had been. I still don’t know if my future includes being a full-time writer. However, maybe my purpose isn't linked to a job title at all. Perhaps it revolves around sharing my thoughts, my passions, and my feelings with others. It's about storytelling—whether it's my own or for those who wish to listen. The Power of Taking Small Steps The uncertainty of your path should never halt your progress. Take small steps forward. This could mean sending a challenging email, writing down a new idea, or pursuing a quiet curiosity. You may not see the entire journey now, but in time, you will realize that every uncertain moment was guiding you toward your destination. Despite the challenges, it’s essential to keep moving. Your purpose can evolve with time and experience. As you embrace uncertainty, remember that small steps can lead to significant change. Check out my current book on Amazon, link below, "The Sock Who Wouldn't Give Up!". Be on the lookout for my two upcoming books, "The Sock Duo's New Journey" and "More Than A Trophy". A blue sock with a face peeks over a brown book titled 'The Sock Who Wouldn't Give Up!' on a polka dot background. Learn more about "The Sock Who Wouldn't Give Up!" here.

Achieving big goals can often feel overwhelming. However, by focusing on small, manageable steps, we can make significant progress without the stress that usually accompanies the pursuit of large ambitions. Small steps simplify the journey, allowing you to build momentum and, ultimately, reach your destination. Why Small Steps Matter Small steps are essential for several reasons. First, they reduce anxiety. When faced with a monumental task, it is easy to feel paralyzed by fear. Breaking a goal into smaller, tangible parts makes it less daunting. You can celebrate small victories along the way, boosting your confidence and motivation. Second, small steps foster consistency. Change often requires continuous effort. By taking small steps daily or weekly, it becomes easier to incorporate new habits into your routine. Research has shown that consistency is key to achieving long-term success. Lastly, small steps build resilience. Each small success can fuel your determination, enabling you to tackle more significant tasks in the future. When you experience setbacks, these small wins can remind you of your capabilities. The Process of Taking Small Steps Understanding how to take small steps is crucial. Start by identifying your big goal. What do you want to achieve? Break it down into smaller, actionable tasks. For instance, if your goal is to complete a marathon, divide this into smaller objectives such as running a specific distance weekly. After defining these steps, create a timeline. Set realistic deadlines for each task. This helps you stay organized and accountable. Tracking progress becomes easier, ensuring you remain committed to the process. However, remain flexible. Life is unpredictable, and you may need to adjust your plan as you go. Each week, review your progress. Celebrate what you've accomplished and identify any areas for improvement. This continuous reflection will keep you engaged in your journey and help you stay focused on your ultimate goal. Overcoming Obstacles with Small Steps Obstacles are a part of any journey. By taking small steps, these challenges can feel less overwhelming. For example, if you encounter a roadblock, revisit your smaller tasks. This allows you to redirect your efforts without losing sight of your big goal. One common obstacle individuals face is procrastination. Instead of viewing your large goal as a whole, remind yourself of the smaller steps. Tackling one small task can generate motivation and reduce feelings of inadequacy. If you're aiming to write a book, commit to writing a single page each day. This small commitment keeps the momentum going and gradually leads to substantial progress. Additionally, you can seek accountability. Share your goals with friends or join support groups. Engaging with others can validate your feelings and provide encouragement on tougher days. Check out steps and stories for resources that connect you with like-minded individuals. Real-Life Success Stories Numerous success stories illustrate the power of taking small steps. Consider the story of someone who drastically transformed their health. Initially unhappy with their fitness level, they started by incorporating a five-minute walk into their day. Gradually, they increased the duration until they were running for 30 minutes without pause. Eventually, they completed a half-marathon. This story highlights how small, consistent efforts can yield impressive results. Another remarkable example is that of J.K. Rowling, the author of the Harry Potter series. Before her success, she faced numerous rejections from publishers. Instead of giving up, she continued writing and refining her work. Each small step she took contributed to her eventual success, reminding us that perseverance is key. Stay Motivated on Your Journey Maintaining motivation can be challenging, especially when progress feels slow. Here are some practical tips to help you stay on track: Set Small Rewards : After completing a small task, treat yourself to something enjoyable. This reinforces positive behavior and acts as motivation to continue. Create a Vision Board : Visual reminders of your goals can inspire you to keep moving forward. Include images that resonate with your ambition and energy. Join a Community : Connecting with others who share similar goals can provide motivation and support. Involvement in groups can create a sense of camaraderie that fuels your journey. Practice Self-Compassion : Understand that setbacks are part of growth. Treat yourself kindly during difficult times and focus on the progress you’ve made. Remember, achieving big goals is a journey, not a sprint. Celebrate each small achievement as it comes, and keep your eyes on the larger prize. Embrace the Journey Taking small steps towards big goals is a powerful approach to personal and professional development. By breaking down your larger ambitions into manageable tasks, you can spark motivation, build resilience, and cultivate consistency. As you embark on your journey, remember to focus on progress, not perfection. Every small step is a victory in itself. Reflect on your experiences, adjust your plans when necessary, and continue moving forward with determination and purpose. The journey is just as important as the destination. Embrace the small steps and witness the progress they create in your life. By celebrating each achievement, you will find yourself approaching your big goals with renewed enthusiasm and confidence.

I’ve always been fascinated by documentaries that unravel family secrets—the kind where long-buried truths come to light. Unsuspecting descendants find themselves caught in a narrative they never imagined being part of. You watch with wide-eyed amazement, marveling at the twists and turns, thinking, That could never happen to me. My family’s history is known. Our past is ordinary. And then, one day, the past knocks on your door. I never expected a phone call from The Washington Post to change my perspective on my family’s history. I was shocked to discover that my own ancestors' remains had been sitting in the Smithsonian for over 120 years. I wasn’t prepared for the emotions, unanswered questions, and the urgency to reclaim what had been wrongfully taken. Suddenly, I wasn’t just watching the story unfold from my couch—I was living it. This article details my journey of uncovering the truth. It explores how I pieced together a hidden history while navigating the delicate process of bringing my ancestors home. History is calling December 2023 marked the holiday season. Everyone was bustling about, looking for perfect Christmas gifts for loved ones. Families prepared their homes and hearts for this magical time. Little did I know that my life was about to change dramatically. Sitting at my desk at work, my phone rang multiple times. I didn’t recognize the number, so I initially dismissed it. By the fourth call, I thought, This person is persistent! Maybe it’s important. So, I answered. "Hi, my name is Kelly, and my partner Susan (not their real names) and I are with The Washington Post. Is Michelle Farris available?" "Yes, this is she," I replied. "Again, this is Kelly and Susan from The Washington Post, and we believe the Smithsonian has your grandfather’s brain." My first thought was disbelief. Oh, scammers have gotten out of hand! Then, more absurd scenarios crossed my mind: Who went to my grandfather’s grave, dug it up, opened the vault, cut open his head to take his brain? Who has that kind of time? Why didn’t anyone hear this happening? "Okay, what do you want from me? I have no money to help you recover it. I don’t believe anything you’re telling me. So, what now?" After about 15 minutes of debate, with Kelly trying to prove this wasn’t a scam, I said I’d think about it. I told them I’d consult my husband, who is IT-savvy, before following up. I asked for their names, emails, and affiliations to verify their credibility. To my surprise, they were very understanding and accommodating. Returning to my desk, I searched social media and found their profiles. Everything seemed legitimate, but I still wanted my husband’s input. At home, I explained everything to him. I was shocked when he said, "Everything checks out. They aren't asking you for money. They are not pushy. I think it’s okay to at least have a conversation with them—and I'll be there with you if you like." That moment sparked a whirlwind of interviews, photo sessions, recordings, and article writing. Who was Moses Boone? Moses Boone was a 21-month-old who passed away at Children's Hospital in Washington, D.C. due to tuberculosis on February 27, 1904. Tragically, his mother died of epilepsy in October 1903. During this time, an 11-year-old white male also succumbed to lung conditions at Children’s Hospital. What do these incidents have in common? Let me explain. A Smithsonian anthropologist named Ales Hrdlicka contacted local institutions to help him remove the brains of both boys. His aim? To prove that whites were superior to blacks. Moses, who was of mixed race but identified as black, and the 11-year-old white boy were just two of many victims who came from vulnerable communities. The Smithsonian accumulated over 280 human brains from diverse areas, with 74 sourced from local communities, according to documents reviewed by The Washington Post. Of those, 48 belonged to individuals who were Black. Shockingly, 19 brains in the collection were taken from fetuses, including one following an abortion. Seventeen were from children. Three were taken from individuals who died in a hospital serving the city’s almshouse. One was from a man who was both deaf and mute. The name Boone echoed throughout my childhood, but I never inquired why it recurred. If you grew up in a Black household, you know children were seen, not heard. Engaging in grown folks’ discussions was taboo. At family gatherings where adults, mostly my grandmother and great-grandmother, conversed, I’d hear the name Boone pass by. When my great-grandmother passed, my grandmother mentioned, as an adult, that there was a significant family secret that died with her. I wondered if she knew but chose not to share, or if it was really a secret. I didn’t think much about it at the time. It felt like whatever this secret was, I wasn't meant to discover it. I never imagined it would be this. What Now? A dedicated Smithsonian team has assembled to assist me, but what does that really imply? I was faced with a profound decision—what should I do with the remains? I had two choices: leave them in the Smithsonian’s care or take them into my own hands. If I chose to take them, what would be my next steps? If I left them, could I trust that they would be treated with the respect they deserve? Would everything done up to this point feel meaningless if I simply walked away? If they were displayed, would that invite ridicule or misunderstanding? These questions weighed heavily on me during each meeting with the team. I knew I couldn’t rush this decision—I needed to discuss it with my family, not just my husband, but also my closest cousins. My husband supported whatever choice I made. He believed I should take the remains and consider giving them a proper burial. He and my cousins suggested reflecting on what my grandmother would have wanted. Thinking about her, I realized that if she were alive, she would likely have been the next of kin, being her father was a direct descendant of Moses. Knowing her, she probably would have wanted nothing to do with it—she was very private. I, however, am different. While I don't share everything about myself, I am much more open. Where are we now? After several meetings and much genealogical information, I decided I wanted to reclaim the remains if possible. For me, taking back what was wrongfully taken involves more than reclaiming the past—it aims to rectify a wrong. I feel in my spirit that Moses has never truly found his final resting place because of this. Consequently, neither have his parents or siblings. It seems they’ve been waiting for him, unable to be at peace. Some may find my sentiment unusual, but I’ve always harbored a quiet spiritual side. I believe this situation has presented itself for a reason. I wasn't ready to uncover the family secret before now. If I had learned earlier, I couldn't have acted. I was too immature and unfocused. The timing feels intentional, and I feel a calling to act. There are numerous stories surrounding Moses’ passing and his parents’ deaths—so many documented details that have made me pause and reflect, leading to undeniable aha moments. Moses was hospitalized on February 4, 1904, and he passed on February 27. In a remarkable coincidence, on February 4, 2014—exactly 110 years later—I found myself in a hospital room, holding my newborn twins. That morning, I also felt something else. An unseen presence enveloped me, as if someone was holding my hand. Some might say it was merely medication-induced. But I know it was more than that. Although I was under the influence of medication, I was still aware of the spiritual presence beside me. I recognize that maybe—just maybe—I wasn’t alone in that moment. I always wish I had a picture of what Moses might have looked like. I particularly want to see if either of my twins, especially my son, resembles him. This journey has drawn me closer to my grandmother, even though she is no longer here. I never knew much about my grandmother; it was almost as if she had no past. I only knew her and my great-grandmother, her mother. My grandmother had a brother who lived in D.C., but I never met him. It is possible I passed him numerous times during my years of working in D.C. without knowing it. He probably wouldn’t have recognized me either. This story sheds light on why my mother may have never discussed her relatives. The people my mother engaged with, hung out with, and called family were all from my grandfather’s side. She grew up within that family. His older sister and my grandmother were best friends before they became in-laws. As stated before, this journey feels like it’s pulling me closer to her. A handful of universities, along with institutions like the Smithsonian and Mt. Zion Church in D.C., have reached out to interview me. Everyone is curious about my story. They want to know what I’m planning next. I am taking things one day at a time. Mt. Zion has contacted me because it is where Moses is supposedly buried. However, due to poor cemetery maintenance, there is no way to verify it. My husband and I visited, hoping to find a marker or indication, but there was absolutely no way to tell. Mt. Zion wishes to meet with me to discuss and potentially plan a ceremony once everything is finalized. The Archives in D.C. invited my family for a visit. It was a truly special occasion. We were shown that Moses and other family members are documented there. Few African Americans can discover their ancestors' records at The Archives, as we were often deemed unworthy of having such records kept. Witnessing and touching these documents was breathtaking. I wanted to share this powerful moment with my children. The universities reaching out are eager to hear more of my story. Professors are sharing my story in their classes, facilitating further research. I have been invited to conduct virtual meetings with classes. Scheduling has been challenging due to my life’s demands, but I’ve retained everyone’s information and am reaching out as I can. I prioritize interviews that seem meaningful, while skipping those that do not align with my values. I’ve reviewed comments on the article published by The Washington Post. I realize everyone has their perspective. By meeting with this prominent publication, I opened myself up to both praise and criticism. While I prefer not to be in the spotlight, I was aware this would attract attention. Fortunately, I’ve developed the resilience to manage whatever comes my way. I’m not concerned with the opinions of those who believe my story should have remained hidden. The truth is, Black history is often sidelined—erased, rewritten, and ignored. Some prefer to act as if it never happened, perhaps out of fear of what we may uncover. What I do know is this: as long as I have a voice, I’ll use it. As long as I have the strength to speak up, I will. Because stories like mine matter. Silence has never been an option for me. To read my story, and others like mine, that was published in The Washington Post, click here

Our life experiences transform us into better versions of ourselves through their developmental power. Every experience in life from failures to new business starts to ordinary daily events provides essential knowledge that helps us grow. We frequently pause to think about the lessons which life experiences teach us about personal development. Understanding Growth Lessons The insights we obtain from different life experiences form the basis of growth lessons. These reflections emerge from the lessons we learn through both our life challenges and accomplishments. The examination of these lessons enables us to develop better methods for path navigation. The idea of failure should be examined. People tend to avoid failure because they link it to negative outcomes such as loss and disappointment. Failure serves as one of the most important educational experiences. Research indicates that experiencing failure leads to individual development and better comprehension of resilience. Research conducted in 2015 by Psychological Science demonstrated that people who fail at something tend to become more driven to succeed in their next attempts. The “failure paradox” describes how our perceived setbacks actually drive our progress forward. The journey of lessons learned through growth. Embracing Discomfort for Growth Personal growth requires us to understand that our most transformative changes emerge from uncomfortable situations. Moving beyond our comfort boundaries creates a sense of fear. Embracing uncomfortable situations allows us to discover fresh possibilities and encounters. The fear of public speaking creates paralysis in numerous people. The process of confronting this fear results in enhanced self-assurance together with improved communication abilities and various career prospects. Research conducted at the University of California demonstrated that people who participate in anxiety-provoking activities experience substantial decreases in their anxiety levels throughout time. The practice of facing uncomfortable situations teaches both mind and body to handle stress better. The challenging path that leads to personal growth. Building Resilience Through Challenges Life brings inevitable challenges which determine our resilience through our reaction to them. Resilience means not just surviving difficult times but actually thriving in the face of adversity. A person who lost their employment position serves as an example. The first reaction to job loss typically brings intense suffering but numerous people transform this experience into an opportunity for personal transformation. Steve Jobs experienced the infamous ousting from Apple which he co-founded. After his removal from Apple he redirected his motivation toward new ventures which led him to return and lead Apple toward becoming one of the world's most valuable companies. His life story demonstrates how people can develop strength through challenging situations while learning to adapt. Setting Goals and Achieving Growth The process of achieving clear and achievable goals acts as a catalyst for personal development. Goals function as directional tools which enable us to track our advancement. The SMART criteria help us establish meaningful goals by requiring (Specificity and Measurability and Achievability and Relevance and Time-bound) characteristics. Writers who aspire to write set daily targets for page completion as their writing objective. The process of dividing complex tasks into smaller steps helps writers stay motivated while demonstrating steady advancement. Research shows that writing down goals leads to higher success rates. Research in the American Journal of Lifestyle Medicine shows that people who write down their goals achieve them at a 42 percent higher rate. The importance of writing goals for growth. Reflection: The Key to Continuous Growth The practice of reflection stands as an essential method to identify personal growth. Taking time to evaluate our experiences on a regular basis helps us gain clarity about our personal development journey. Journaling serves as a strong instrument for personal development. People can use this method to write down their experiences together with their thoughts and emotions at regular intervals. Reviewing previous journal entries enables people to identify patterns of growth and repeated patterns in their life experiences. Research indicates that reflective practice leads to better learning outcomes and stronger problem-solving abilities. Set aside weekly time to journal about your experiences and learned lessons for effective reflection. Developing this practice enables people to gain deeper insights about their personal strengths and weaknesses. The Importance of Community in Growth Personal growth exists as a path which people walk together. The impact of community relationships plays an essential role which should never be ignored. The presence of supportive people around us creates both accountability and encouragement which serve as fundamental elements for personal development. Participating in a book club or study group offers both motivational support and multiple viewpoints which deepen our comprehension. Brigham Young University research demonstrates that people with robust social ties live longer and experience better health outcomes. The evidence supports the idea that working together in groups plays a crucial role in personal development as well as group advancement. Growth and Adaptability in a Changing World The fast-paced nature of our current world makes adaptability an essential quality for success. The ability to change direction becomes essential when dealing with unexpected changes because it drives personal growth. People who adapt fast to new circumstances tend to achieve better results. The COVID-19 pandemic triggered remote work to become a widespread practice. The abrupt transition initially caused difficulties for many people but they learned to handle this new work environment. People who adopted new technology and adjusted their work methods discovered they could produce better results. Research shows that adaptability directly relates to emotional intelligence which serves as a vital tool for handling life's obstacles. The Korn Ferry Institute published a 2021 report which shows that organizations which foster adaptability achieve better innovation and employee engagement. Navigating Life with a Growth Mindset Psychologist Carol Dweck introduced the concept of growth mindset which describes the belief that abilities and intelligence develop through dedicated effort and persistence. A growth mindset enables people to handle obstacles while creating more chances to learn. The development of a growth mindset requires students to focus on learning processes instead of focusing solely on end results. The learning process requires mistakes to be viewed as essential developmental steps instead of failures. The first step to develop a growth mindset involves asking for helpful feedback. You should find mentors or peers who will show you your strengths and weaknesses. The process of continuous growth will become apparent while revealing specific areas for improvement which will strengthen your confidence. Final Thoughts The road to personal growth is paved with experiences that teach us invaluable lessons. From facing challenges to setting goals, each step leads to enhanced resilience and adaptability. It is through reflection, community support, and a growth mindset that we can fully embrace the journey of growth. Learning from our experiences allows us to navigate life with greater purpose and intention. Every experience nurtures personal development, and as you reflect on your journey, consider the lessons that resonate most with you. Including insights from a life lessons blog can further illuminate your path. Remember, growth is not a destination but a continuous journey of progress, and by embracing every lesson along the way, we truly thrive.

A Closer Look at Friendship Dynamics A deeper dive into whether silent supporters are genuine friends or just passive observers. You share a major achievement on social media. Hundreds view your post, but only a few react. The friends who remain silent about your achievements still consider you their friends. This opening statement challenges readers to reflect on their own experiences and personal connections. Friendship comes with an unwritten rule: complete support should be given without any reservations. We celebrate our friends' achievements and stand by them during tough times, making our presence known without hesitation. But is that enough? The Nature of Silent Support People often think that friendship requires loud and public displays of support. Then, there are those friends. These friends observe your entire content stream, read all your updates, yet they maintain public silence about your progress. They may send you private congratulations through messages and hearts, but they never engage publicly. Take time to examine your social network to determine if you have friends who support you without public recognition. How do they make you feel? Navigating the Emotions When you first encounter this situation, you might dismiss it. You may think they simply avoid social media and show their support in alternative ways. However, over time, the pattern becomes clear: they only reach out when no one else is watching. You, on the other hand, rush to their side whenever they share achievements or updates. You promote them to the world. When support flows only in one direction, it can make you question your friendship's validity. Consider these questions: Why do they hesitate to support me publicly? Why do they show love and support for others in our circle but never for me? Is it insecurity? Indifference? Do they simply not care? If I stopped supporting them, would they even notice? It's a complex web of feelings. Understanding One-Sided Friendships Some believe that silent backing remains valid support. Yet, it often lacks real value because it doesn't require significant investment. They follow your life events, but their only public engagement remains through private messages. The truth is, we need friendships that support us both publicly and privately. You should have cheerleaders who celebrate you in public, not just in secret. The real question isn't why they don't support you as you support them; it's about why you continue to make room for people who refuse to celebrate you. Connections That Give Back—The Friendships We Deserve These kinds of friendships, where support is one-sided or hidden, can deeply impact you emotionally. They can leave you feeling frustrated, unseen, and even questioning your connections. Here are some feelings you might encounter: A Sense of Loneliness in Celebration You actively support others by uplifting them and recognizing their achievements. However, the lack of reciprocation makes your accomplishments feel unimportant. It feels like you're celebrating alone. Frustration & Disappointment Friendship requires mutual presence. When friends neglect to engage at any level, feelings of betrayal can arise. Questioning Your Worth in Their Lives When they view your content but fail to demonstrate public backing, you might start questioning whether they genuinely care about you in the same way you care for them. That doubt can linger. Emotional Exhaustion from Overgiving If you continuously invest energy into others without receiving equal return, you may feel drained. It's crucial to evaluate how much effort you put into relationships that fail to nourish you. Shifting Your View of Friendship The way you understand friendship could transform as you encounter these dynamics. Such experiences can help you redefine authentic support, leading to more meaningful relationships in the future. Learning to Set Boundaries & Prioritize Reciprocity These difficult experiences teach you to identify people who truly value your presence. They can guide you towards friendships with equal give-and-take instead of one-sided connections. The Psychology Behind Passive Friendship We have explored what it's like to be on the receiving end of slighted support. Now, let’s delve into what a silent supporter may be feeling or thinking. Fear of Overstepping Some silent supporters fear they might overstep boundaries or say something wrong, leading them to maintain silence. Emotional Avoidance Those who struggle with vulnerability may opt for silent actions of support instead of vocal affirmations. Social Conditioning Many were taught to show support through actions rather than words. They genuinely believe silent presence speaks louder. Lack of Investment In some cases, a passive approach may indicate a lack of authentic connection. Such individuals might follow your journey but feel no obligation to engage. Remember, the absence of visible support does not always indicate neglect. They might be preoccupied with their own lives, focusing on particular social groups that unintentionally leave you feeling neglected. Jealousy and Internal Conflicts Jealousy can also surface in these situations. Friends may silently struggle with feelings of competition and envy regarding your achievements. Their silence can indicate an internal conflict rather than a lack of affection. Navigating the Silence Understanding these possibilities helps us foster dialogue instead of resentment. When a friend remains silent, consider the following: Addressing It Directly A simple, non-confrontational conversation can clarify misunderstandings. Reframing Expectations Not every friend will show up as we expect, but that doesn’t mean they don’t care. Recognizing Personal Boundaries If silence indicates disengagement, it may be a sign to invest in friendships that feel more reciprocal. People experiencing insecurity often hesitate to engage fully in friendships. Their fear of rejection may cause them to withdraw from meaningful connections, despite wanting to connect. Silent Support vs. True Connection: Understanding the Depth of Friendship Friendship is nuanced. Silent supporters can be loyal friends who care in different ways or apathetic spectators in your life. The way someone expresses their support reveals their true intentions, which could range from love to hesitation or disengagement. Devoted supporters might remain silent yet hold the deepest faith in your capabilities. Friendship exists in various shades, shaped by personal feelings and experiences. The absence of visible encouragement from silent supporters does not necessarily indicate indifference. Understanding the reasons behind a friend's silence—ranging from insecurity to shifting priorities—can foster clarity rather than frustration. Meaningful friendships develop through mutual understanding, effort, and honest communication. Ultimately, the best friendships create a sense of being valued, regardless of whether that support is loud or quiet.

Life presents us with unexpected obstacles that we must face. The difficult times we encounter both challenge our ability to bounce back and reveal our true character. Our struggles reveal hidden inner strength which we previously failed to recognize. The path to discovering our inner strength enables us to handle the most difficult challenges in life. Understanding Life Strength Life strength requires more than surviving challenges because it means overcoming them. The fundamental force within us propels us to navigate through our most challenging periods and emerge stronger. Research demonstrates that people who develop resilience become better equipped to succeed through challenging situations. The American Psychological Association reveals through research that resilient individuals develop effective coping methods and stay optimistic when facing difficult situations. What steps can we take to develop life strength? Three essential components form the foundation of life strength development: self-awareness, emotional regulation and support systems. Self-awareness allows us to identify our thoughts and feelings, enabling better decision-making. Emotional regulation helps manage stress and anxiety effectively, ensuring we stay grounded during tough times. Support systems , including friends, family, or community groups, provide much-needed encouragement and inspiration. Finding strength in nature during tough moments. Building Resilience: Strategies for Life Strength Building resilience is akin to developing muscle; it requires consistent practice and effort. Here are several practical strategies to enhance your life strength: 1. Establish a Routine Establishing a daily routine helps people find stability during times of disorder. Familiar activities provide comfort while establishing structures which support emotional stability. Routines help us stay grounded through activities such as morning meditation sessions and exercise and dedicated time for hobbies. 2. Embrace Change Change happens naturally in most situations. Instead of resisting it, embrace it. Change should be seen as a time for personal development. This change in perspective will help you decrease your feelings of anxiety and helplessness. When you focus on the lessons change brings you transform it into an opportunity instead of an obstacle. 3. Practice Gratitude Our mindset receives significant influence from practicing gratitude. Daily reflection on our thankful things makes up the practice of gratitude. Research indicates that people who practice gratitude on a regular basis tend to have higher happiness levels and better life satisfaction. Maintaining a gratitude journal allows you to write down three things daily which you value no matter how insignificant they seem. Finding strength through gratitude in nature's beauty. 4. Seek Professional Help The difficulties we encounter sometimes become too difficult to handle. A mental health professional can offer assistance and tools which help people deal with their current challenges. Therapy creates a protected environment where you can explore your emotions while building strategies to manage them. Seeking assistance demonstrates courage rather than frailty. 5. Set Realistic Goals The process of dividing complex objectives into simpler workable steps leads to a more realistic achievement plan. The method helps us avoid feeling overwhelmed while allowing us to recognize and celebrate our progress at each step. Achievable goals in personal growth and career development and relationship building help people feel accomplished. How to Write an Essay About Overcoming Challenges? Writing about personal challenges can be an therapeutic and conclusive process. Start by brainstorming significant moments in your life where you faced adversity. Here are some steps to consider: Choose a specific challenge : Focus on a single moment or series of events for clarity. Describe the situation : Provide context to allow readers to understand the intensity of your experience. Reflect on your feelings : Share your thoughts and emotions as you navigated through this challenge. This makes your essay relatable and insightful. Highlight the resolution : Explain how you overcame the hurdles. What did you learn from this experience? Did it change you in any way? Conclude with growth : Reflect on how overcoming this challenge has brought you strength or altered your perspective on life. For inspiration, you can visit this compelling collection of overcoming challenges stories to see how others have shared their transformative journeys. Documenting personal stories can reveal inner strength. Embracing a Support Network Strength can often be found in the relationships we nurture. Surrounding yourself with a supportive community can significantly impact your ability to cope with life's challenges. Here is how to build a strong support network: Identify key individuals : Surround yourself with people who uplift you. This could be friends, family, or coworkers who provide a positive influence. Communicate openly : Don't hesitate to reach out to others when you're struggling. Sharing your feelings can lighten your emotional load and foster deeper connections. Participate in community activities : Engaging in community events or support groups can also build relationships and expose you to others who may be facing similar challenges. Conclusion: The Journey to Finding Strength Life strength pursuit takes each person through various life experiences with their corresponding highs and lows. Every person encounters difficulties during their life journey. Practical strategies combined with support networks and experience acceptance enable us to develop resilience which helps us overcome our most difficult challenges. The most important lessons in life emerge from the most difficult times we face. Building resilience enables personal growth while developing empathy for those who face their own challenges. Our collective support will establish a community that depends on strength and shared experiences and resilience.

It has been five years. Five long years since I last heard her voice—that sweet melody that used to call out, “Michelle, have you cleaned your room?”  or “Michelle, it’s time for church. Go put on a dress. And don’t forget your slip.”  The same voice that could soothe my fears with just a few words. Five years have passed since I last saw her face—the face that brought me peace and happiness, a face I can still picture vividly in my mind, even as time has softened some of the details. Five years since I last held her hand, feeling the softness of her hands as she held tight to mine, the gentle squeeze of a hug that spoke volumes—of love, of comfort, of unwavering support in moments of joy and sorrow alike. Five years since I last told her how much I loved her. The words were simple, yet they carried the weight of my entire heart. And in those moments, I could always feel the warmth of her reply—a warmth that enveloped me like a cozy blanket on a cold winter night, assuring me that my feelings were reciprocated and cherished. Most importantly, it made me feel seen. Every day since she has been gone is a reminder of what once was—a bittersweet echo of laughter and shared dreams that lingers in the silence. The memories flood my mind, vivid and haunting, as I navigate the space she left behind. And through it all, I long for just one more moment—one more chance to express the depth of my emotions, to hear her laugh once more, and to feel the comfort of her presence by my side. Grief exists as an unusual complex partner which weaves itself deeply into the structure of our existence. Time does not determine when grief will fade away because its behavior remains unpredictable and disorganized. The emotional journey of grief produces a changing terrain of intense feelings which create both mental confusion and overwhelming sensations. Grief manifests as a soft whisper which produces a hidden heartache that dwells deep inside me. Memories of my lost loved ones haunt my mind with soft gentleness during these days as they gently show me the enduring emptiness. The love we shared leaves behind a soft nostalgic glow which produces a mix of happiness and sadness that makes me smile while thinking about our times together. The world keeps its natural pace but I continue my daily activities while the persistent heartache reminds me of my permanent loss. However, there are days when grief crashes into me like a tidal wave—overwhelming and fierce. These moments are marked by vivid memories that surge forward with an intensity so strong, they feel almost tangible. I can still hear her laughter echoing in my mind—a sound so familiar and comforting, yet now tinged with sadness. This weekend, my daughter had a dance competition, and her twin brother played in a soccer game. I was incredibly proud of them. But the entire time—especially Saturday—I couldn’t stop thinking about my mother. Saturday marked five years since her passing, and with both kids’ events falling on that day, it was yet another reminder that she was no longer here. She loved everything my children did and always found a way to support them. She never missed a leap or twirl, nor did she miss a goal save or a goal scored. And when it came to my firstborn—if anyone looked at him the wrong way—she was there with her claws out, ready to defend him. I sat in the auditorium and stood on the soccer field, fighting back tears. Last year, while I was in New York, I purchased a perfume. I remember smelling the sample and immediately thinking, This smells exactly like my mother.  So, I bought it. Every time I wear it, the scent fills the air around me, wrapping me in something familiar—something deeply personal. It transports me back to a time when she was still here, her warmth surrounding me in a way that feels almost tangible. In those moments, I can feel her presence as if she never truly left. The weight of that realization is both comforting and profoundly bittersweet. I have this shirt of hers—the one I kept when we were cleaning out her condo. Honestly, I could never stand that shirt. She wore it so often that it lost its shape. But it was her comfort shirt—the one she reached for when she wanted to relax at home or make a quick trip to the store or the bank. She wore it while she cooked, while she sat reading her daily word, sipping coffee, and watching Joel Osteen. Maybe it’s all in my head, but whenever I feel down, lonely, or afraid—when I sense a panic attack creeping in and my husband isn’t around—I find myself reaching for that shirt. It still smells like her. You’re probably reading this and thinking, Michelle has issues.  Maybe I do. Or maybe, in those low moments, I’m simply searching for my comfort shirt—the one that, for just a few minutes, makes it feel like she’s still here. The one that wraps me in the kind of hug only she could give. The complex emotional landscape of grief reminds me that it does not follow a linear path. The process of grieving cannot be neatly organized into distinct stages or a predetermined timeline. Love and loss weave through a winding journey of unexpected turns and detours, making it difficult to express emotions fully. One moment, I hear a song my mother loved, and I sing along with joy in my voice and heart, smiling without the slightest urge to cry. Yet, the next time I hear that same song, I may feel an overwhelming wave of sadness, wanting to break down in tears or turn off the radio entirely. Grief is unpredictable. Each experience presents new obstacles and insights, forcing me to confront my deepest emotions and reflect on the realities of my life. How I react to the same song at different times often depends on the events of that day. Perhaps I had a wonderful day at work, and although I can no longer call my mom to share my excitement the way I used to, hearing that song feels like a quiet moment of connection between us. Or maybe I had a difficult day, and again, though I can’t pick up the phone to hear her reassuring voice, the song becomes a bridge—a reminder that, in some way, she’s still with me. A lovely portrait of my mother, elegantly dressed in lace, with the heartfelt note "All my love, Jean" written on her photograph. In essence, grief is a multifaceted companion that teaches me about resilience, love, and the enduring nature of memory. It reminds me that the bonds we form with those we love transcend even the boundaries of life and death. And while the journey through grief may be fraught with pain, it is also rich with moments of reflection, connection, and ultimately, a deeper understanding of what it means to love and to lose. But if there is one thing I’ve learned in these five years, it’s that loss does not erase love. Love remains—woven into the fabric of my life, stitched into every decision I make, every lesson I carry forward, every dream I chase. My mother may not be here in the way she once was, but her wisdom continues to guide me in ways I never imagined. When I look at my three beautiful, big babies, I see her. Many people say my kids have my attitude and determination, along with my husband's creativity, thrill-seeking nature, love for spontaneous adventures, and wild imagination. But I see my mother in them, too. My daughter loves the same candy my mother could never let go of—Werther’s Originals. Eww!  My mother also had a strange habit of sticking her chewed gum on her lampshade at night. Without even knowing it, my daughter does the same thing. And just like I used to with my mother’s gum, I secretly throw it away whenever I remember. I mean, who wants day-old, lampshade gum the next day? Those two… eww! My youngest son carries her seriousness and her ability to sit for hours watching old Westerns. And my oldest—my mother’s other best friend—has her sharp ability to ignore you completely if necessary, paying you no mind in a heartbeat. He also inherited her strong intolerance for unfairness. They all—my kids and, apparently, me—have been told that we possess a way with words that can cut deep. And if we give you that  look, you’ll stand up straighter and realize we’re not here to be played with. She taught me resilience—not by simply telling me to be strong, but by showing me what strength truly looked like. It was in the way she faced life’s hardships with grace, in the way she picked herself up after every setback, in the way she refused to let difficulties define her. When I find myself struggling, unsure of my next step, I ask myself: What would Mom do?  And the answer, always, is to keep going. To trust myself. To believe that even when the path is uncertain, I am capable of finding my way. Through her lessons I learned genuine kindness which extended beyond superficial expressions of politeness and courtesy into profound unconditional love. The kind that listens with full attention, that reaches out even when it’s inconvenient, that chooses love over judgment . In moments of frustration or doubt, I hear her gentle reminder: Kindness costs nothing, but it changes everything. She taught me creativity—the joy of dreaming, imagining, and bringing something meaningful to life. I still see her influence in the words I write, the stories I tell, and the way I shape my own world. She nurtured my love for storytelling and encouraged me to pursue ideas that felt too big, too wild, or too unconventional. Whenever I doubt myself, I remember how she believed in me long before I ever believed in myself. Five years. The experience still feels unreal, as if it remains trapped in my mind like an unshakable dream. Time has stretched into years, yet her absence continues to create a noticeable void—one that fills my existence in ways I never imagined. The absence of her laughter, her wisdom, and her warm hugs still brings pain. But I understand now that she remains present in my life—not in the way she once was, but through the choices I make, the way I love others, and how I navigate the world. Every choice I make is colored by her presence, as I constantly find myself wondering how she would react and how she would handle certain circumstances. Her spirit guides me through uncertain times, reminding me to stay strong while remaining compassionate and resilient. The values she instilled in me resonate deeply, shaping the way I connect with others and how I understand love and kindness. I strive to embody the qualities she demonstrated, ensuring that her legacy lives on through my actions and the way I treat those around me. I still wish I could call her, to hear her voice echo through the phone, bringing comfort and familiarity. I still long for one more hug, one more conversation that lasts late into the night and another piece of her delicious marble cake. The ordinary moments which I took for granted at the time have become precious to me because of their deep meaning. Her spirit surrounds me in the silent times when I reflect on death and thankfulness. The love she left behind wraps around me like a comfortable blanket which shows me that her spirit lives inside me even though she is no longer present physically. I swear every night, right before I fall into that deep slumber, I feel her presents in the room. And that is enough to keep her memory alive, to keep our connection strong, and to navigate this world with a heart full of love that she helped cultivate. She is still guiding me. Always.

Have you ever found yourself delightfully scrolling through social media, seeing a friend get an exciting promotion or someone share their latest triumph, and you feel a little inadequate? It's an experience that many people can relate to . Many people find themselves stuck in the comparison trap! The truth is, comparing yourself with others can shrink the joy of living in your life. It steals our focus from the beauty of our own journey and redirects us to the things that we think are missing. Green DNA helix intertwined with pink flowers and leaves But here's the good news: breaking free from this mindset is entirely possible. It starts with learning to embrace your unique path—one that's shaped by your values, dreams, and experiences. Learning to accept that I am enough is something I still struggle with. I want to believe that what I've done, the things I've accomplished, or what my family has accomplished are just as good as what everyone else is doing. Why Comparing Steals Joy When people compare themselves to others, they do it with partial information. We get the highlight reels: perfectly curated snapshots of someone else's life. But we don’t see the challenges, struggles, or insecurities that are underneath that surface. This distorted view leads us to unrealistic expectations of ourselves and generates feelings of inadequacy, jealousy or self-doubt. Why can't I be happy for myself? So many times I look at a social media post of someone posting about a new car, a new job or something big their kid(s) did. I'll hit the like or love button because I truly am happy for them. But deep down I wish it were me. Deep down I sit and wonder why those things are happening to them and not to me when I'm doing almost the same thing or more. What am I doing wrong? Why aren't people happy for me? Some of the times I look at what other people's kids are accomplishing and getting recognition for and think "what do I need to do to get my kid to that level?" And for what, for a lousy social media like? That post isn't going to pay the bills. If you could get a dollar for every like and two dollars for every love you got on a status, then I would have something to worry about. So why do we compare? We strive to be liked online and offline! thumbs-up icon Comparison can drive our focus away from our successes in a negative and harmful way. In this way, we are able to overlook our genuine accomplishments, no matter how small they may be, by comparing ourselves or our loved ones to others. Rather than appreciating our improvement and the milestones our children have made, we focus on what we lack compared to our friends or neighbors. This fixation can prevent us from properly assessing our abilities and roles in our everyday lives and career. Shifting Your Perspective Here are a few steps to help you embrace your individuality and find joy in your own journey: Focus on Your Goals    Reconnect with your personal aspirations and values. When you focus on what truly matters to you, you won’t be worrying about how much ground everyone else is covering and instead will be busy creating a life that is rich and fulfilling. Celebrate Progress, Not Perfection    Growth is not a one-way road , it is a process. Every time you achieve a small win or milestone, celebrate it and don’t forget that every step forward is worth it, it adds value to your story. Practice Gratitude    Attention should be paid to appreciation rather than comparison. Every night, try to write down three things you are thankful for, no matter how small they are, it can be a small something like a smile from a loved one, or the warmth of your morning coffee. This keeps our attention on the abundance of the gratitude in our lives. Limit Exposure to Triggers   If you are feeling down due to certain social media interactions or certain interactions, it is better to step back. Set rules to prevent certain content from reaching you and find time for the things that make you feel good. Find Inspiration, Not Competition   Instead, you should focus on the bright side of people’s lives and not on what they have that you don’t . The question you should ask is, ‘‘What can I gain from their journey?’ ‘How can I learn from their journey and apply those lessons to my own path?" Note that the fifth perspective emphasizes gaining, not taking away. There's a big difference! Gaining Something is acquiring or deriving positive outcomes or benefits from the stories told by others in a positive manner. It is the process of watching, perceiving, and implementing their best practices, experiences, or knowledge to make your life better than before without in any way diminishing their journey. For instance, you can be encouraged to be more resilient in your challenges by the stories you hear from other people about how they overcame their challenges. On the other hand, Taking away something carries a more negative vibe; it may mean using or reducing the significance of the other group’s experience. It may entail misunderstanding, downplaying, or outshining their story, which in turn reduces their ownership or growth. For instance, when someone shares a success story and someone else downplays it, it feels as though the experience has been ‘stolen’ from them. Over time, this negative mindset can damage our self-esteem and form a negative cycle that can be hard to break. We may start to feel that we are failing and that there is nothing we can do to change this, or that others are more successful than us. This constant comparison can erode our self-esteem, where we fail to recognize our own strengths and talents that are so important to our personality and success. It is important to remember that everyone's path is different – not only does it involve its own set of problems, but also its own set of successes. When we pay attention to the things that others have done, we may not be able to fully value our own abilities and contributions. Every individual has his or her own set of experiences, views, and capabilities that add to his or her value. When people change their mindset from comparison to gratitude and acceptance of self, they can start the process of improving their relationship with themselves. We can also increase our self-esteem and confidence by celebrating our successes, no matter how small they may seem in the scheme of things. Embracing Your Path You are the only one who can walk your path. It is the only path which each individual can walk on, and this path is completely unique as it is shaped by the talents, experiences, and dreams of a given person. This journey is not just the sequence of events – it is the fabric of your experience and your dreams, which are inseparable from you and therefore precious. Every time you choose to contrast your path with that of others, you take away some of the magic and opportunity that is already there for you. This comparison may result in feelings of incompetence or doubt, which may prevent one from appreciating one’s own strengths. It is, therefore, more rewarding to try to work on your own development, enhance your strengths and celebrate the qualities that make you unique as you will start to discover the fun and satisfaction that comes with being real with yourself. This way, you can be able to embrace your purpose in life and feel more satisfied with yourself. In the end, it is of paramount importance to look back at the path we have chosen and the path we have walked, rather than looking at the length of the path of others. Every individual’s journey is unique and comes with its own set of obstacles and victories, and it is important to learn to appreciate the path that one is on and the part one plays in the community. Instead of feeling envious or jealous of other people’s successes, we should attempt to appreciate and celebrate our own accomplishments, however small they may be. This practice helps to develop an attitude of gratitude and acceptance of self. It is only when we celebrate and accept our respective journeys for what they are, and the positives that come with it, that we can be happy people. When people celebrate their own progress and the parts of themselves that they have been able to develop, they tend to have a more positive state of mind. This positivity can be a great source of encouragement that makes people work hard to achieve their own goals without being bothered by how far others have gone. Embracing your journey with pride not only increases your self-confidence but also helps you to become the best that you can be. Cross the finish line and triumphantly Celebrate your wins! So let go of "me vs. them." It's time to embrace "me vs. my potential." Your unique path is waiting—and it's already filled with opportunities to find joy, growth, and meaning.

Are you tired of feeling like you are stuck in a cycle of negative thoughts and emotions? It is all too easy to become mired in doubt, worry, or regret, so that they overwhelm the present and steal our serenity. But the good news is that we can break free from these mental chains, and the power to do so is ours. Letting go of negativity does not mean living in denial; it’s simply a choice to live a healthier and more peaceful life, no matter the challenges that come your way. Depressing thoughts are as stifling as an anchor tied to our backs, stopping us from progressing. They are usually triggered by past experiences, fear of the future, or beliefs one has about themselves. This is the first step to changing the pattern: to recognize these patterns. Whenever you find yourself trapped in a loop of negative thinking, take a moment and ask yourself: “ Is this thought helpful for me or is it harmful? ” Knowing this is crucial for making a change. Recognizing the Weight of Negativity Can you tell when you’re having a negative thought? At times, we are right in the middle of it, and we don’t even realize it. I don’t always catch myself being negative. There are times when I have no clue what sets it off—or even if I do, I can’t figure out why it matters. At least one thing is clear: when my mind starts to develop negative thoughts, they can drive me crazy and give me a headache. I always feel that if someone is angry with me, I get trapped in a whirlwind of thoughts. When texting a friend, and you get a reply that is just “K”, to me that “K” is accusing that something is wrong! All of a sudden, I’m on a mental mission, reliving every single interaction we’ve ever had, from the time their name simply came up in conversation. I begin to analyze every word, every action. Woman with eyes closed and hands on temples And if I can’t pinpoint why their "OK" feels off, I’m bursting to ask, “Are you mad at me?” But then another thought rushes in—will they think I’m being childish or immature for asking? And that’s when my mind really starts spinning! Several years ago, when I realized that my mindset was not helping me in any way, I immediately sought therapy. I clearly recall sitting in my therapist’s office and explaining that the main reason I needed her help was that I believed the director of my daughter’s dance studio was angry with me. When she asked what made me think that, I told her that, on a day when I was not in the right frame of mind, I had shared a competition picture that someone else had taken and sent to me. As it turned out, taking pictures during the performance was not allowed, but the person who sent it to me was unaware of that. Since I hadn’t taken the picture myself, I didn’t think it would be a problem to post it on social media. Later, when an email was sent to parents reminding them not to post pictures they had taken during the event, I immediately assumed it was directed at me—unaware that others had done the same. I became convinced that my daughter would be expelled from the studio and that everyone would be angry with me. Then my therapist asked, “Did the director herself come to you and say, ‘Michelle, I’m angry with you’?” The answer was no, but I was sure she was. I was so afraid to show my face at the studio that I thought even an apology wouldn’t be accepted. Challenging My Anxious Thoughts: A New Perspective I have had habits of overreacting, overthinking, and let my thoughts spiral out of control. But when the dust settles—or when I finally muster the courage to ask whether I have done something to offend someone—it almost always turns out that they have no idea what I’m talking about. They usually respond with something like, “Uh… no, everything is fine.” Then I end up knocking myself in the head for having wasted so much time and energy worrying about it. The therapist asked me if I had ever thought about the type of mood I was in when I received these emails and text messages. I never have. She said that sometimes if I'm already in an uncomfortable mood I can misinterpret things. She suggested to try reading or rereading the messages when my mood and mindset are in a more relaxed and positive state. She also said to think of the answer to these three questions to help me calm myself down: What actual evidence do I have that they are upset with me? Am I assuming based on tone, body language, or a short message? Have they directly told me they are upset, or am I making assumptions? Is there another possible explanation for their behavior? Could they be busy, tired, distracted, or dealing with something unrelated to me? Am I personalizing a situation that might have nothing to do with me? If they are upset, what’s the worst that can happen? Would this actually damage our relationship, or is it something we can talk through? Am I catastrophizing, or is this something I can handle calmly and maturely? Reframing Your Thoughts Once I notice those negative thinking patterns, I tell myself that I will counterattack them! It all starts with self-awareness, which means paying attention to the thoughts we have in our mind and the stories we tell ourselves. For instance, when I tell myself things like, I am an failure , I try to change the thought to something more positive, such as, I am growing in this process . Or, if I tell myself, This person is angry at me. They haven’t replied to my text , I would change my thought to, she is probably occupied with taking her son to basketball and the other to baseball. This way of thinking always lifts my mood. I understand that they may have received the text but are simply unable to reply due to being busy at that particular moment of time. I also actively recall those instances where I have received a text or a voicemail and thought, I need to reply to this, but then the world pulled me in another direction and I simply forgot. It doesn’t mean I was angry with the person, so why would I assume that others would be angry with me? This powerful shift in perspective has helped me recognize the positive adjustments I can make in my life. Not only is this change of view not a simple exercise of the mind – it is a way of developing a more gracious, enabling and strong minded approach. In the case of self-kindness, I believe this is one of the best ways of preventing the negative thoughts that tend to come with self criticism. This new way of thinking helps me to challenge dilemmas with curiosity and openness, feeling no fear and anxiety. Most importantly, it is not just about the control of negative thoughts– it helps me to focus on the positive change in my life, not trying to be perfect to the grind. Reframing my thoughts allows me to see situations more clearly, but I also have to accept that not everything is mine to fix or figure out. calm, relaxed mood Releasing What You Can’t Control When I tell myself that every experience is a growth experience, then I would be likely to attempt it, even if it means getting out of my comfort zone, and try something new. This new resilience not only enhances my ability to cope with failure but also improves my perception of negative events in my life. Thus, the process of challenging and transforming the negative thoughts is a great technique that enables me to manage my mindset. It is a process of learning where every experience, whether they get it as positive or negative, is considered as a way of moving forward to know themselves and become better people. Therefore, I am not only helping myself to feel good and to be happy but also looking at the world with optimism and an active mindset. A Personal Reflection: Controlling Negative Thoughts Depressing thoughts are persistent, they can appear at the most inopportune time during periods of doubt or stress or when in a state of confusion. I have realized that the only way to overcome them is not by suppressing them but by learning how to deal with them without being affected by them and letting them hold me back. I have observed that negative thoughts tend to appear in the form of fear, or when one is comparing themselves with others, or when one has failed in the past. At times, they tell me I am not doing enough, that I should have done more, or that I am incapable. In those moments, I’ve learned to stop and question those thoughts rather than believing them. One approach that helps me is reframing—instead of saying, “I’m not good enough,”  I ask, “What evidence do I have that proves my thoughts are accurate?”  More often than not, I can recall times when I succeeded despite my doubts. As well as, what I was thinking was completely wrong. I also remind myself that growth is not linear, and setbacks don’t define my worth or potential. I try not to let my mind take control of the truth. I am confident to switch my focus to gratitude as a key strategy. When negativity comes, I stop and think about my successes, what I am thankful for, and the difficulties I have overcome before. Gratitude is a perfect way to change my mindset from scarcity to abundance. Lastly, I forgive myself. I know negative thoughts will happen, but they don’t have to become actions or feelings. I allow myself to have feelings, think things over, and then move my attention towards the positive and be kind to myself. I understand that eliminating negative thoughts is a process, not a one-time job. But with awareness, intention, and practice, I’m learning to switch self doubt for self belief, fear for faith, and hope for negativity.

Life gets busy, routines take over, and before you know it, date nights become a distant memory. But whether you’re in a new relationship or have been together for years, making time for fun and connection is essential. The good news? Date nights don’t have to be expensive or extravagant to be special! From cozy nights at home to thrilling adventures, here are some fun and creative date night ideas to keep the spark alive. When my husband and I first started dating, we spent time together about two to three times a week. We usually ran into each other in the college student lounge, grabbed lunch, or hung out between classes. If we weren’t in a rush to get home, we’d catch a movie and grab dinner afterward. On weekends, when we weren’t working, we made time for each other. It just became our thing. Sometimes, instead of going out, we’d head to his parents’ place, whip up some French bread pizza, and watch TV. Other times, we’d make sandwiches and have a picnic in the park. We didn’t always need to spend money to have a good time. Once we moved in together, our date nights changed. He worked nights, and I worked days, so our time together became more intentional. Some evenings, we’d squeeze in a quick dinner before he left for work, and on other days, we’d go for an early morning run followed by breakfast before I started my day. No matter how busy life got, we always found ways to spend time together. Picnic setup in a meadow: wicker basket, open book, cheese, olives, wine glasses, and a white hat on a white blanket amidst green grass. Fast forward to when we got married—not much really changed, except that we finally had the same work hours. We both worked during the day and spent our evenings at home together. Sometimes, our "date nights" were as simple as watching a movie after dinner. Occasionally, we’d go out for a meal or grab some ice cream. But honestly, things started to feel a little stale. We kept doing the same things and going to the same restaurants. Eventually, our date nights just sort of fizzled out. We still went out occasionally, but life got busy—between work, spending time with friends, and running out of fresh ideas, we just weren’t as intentional about it anymore. When we decided to have children, I was absolutely thrilled! I couldn't wait to embrace motherhood and shower our little ones with love. But, if I’m being honest, the idea of having kids also made me a little nervous. I’d heard plenty of stories about how couples drift apart when their focus shifts entirely to the kids. The fear of losing that connection with my husband was real. I had even heard of couples feeling resentment because their relationship took a backseat. So, when I found out I was pregnant with our first son, my husband and I made a heartfelt promise to each other: no matter how crazy life got, we would always prioritize our bond. We committed to having at least one date night a month, even if it was something as simple as a cozy movie night in our basement after putting the baby to bed. Of course, at the time, I had no idea what life with a newborn would actually be like. And if you're reading this, you might be thinking, "Oh, good luck finding time to watch anything in those first few months—or even years—with a baby!" Remember those initial butterflies? Date nights help rekindle that excitement and remind you why you fell in love. A little effort can go a long way in keeping the romance alive. Life can be overwhelming, but setting aside time to enjoy each other’s company—whether through a fun activity, a relaxing dinner, or a cozy night in—helps alleviate stress and strengthens your emotional bond. Once our firstborn arrived, date nights became more important than ever. We were both exhausted and frustrated from the lack of sleep. My husband worked full-time, and waking up multiple times a night before heading to work was overwhelming for him. I was home with the baby before returning to work, but caring for a newborn all day while running on little sleep was just as challenging for me. Even if we only had two or three hours together before the baby woke up again, we made it a priority. Sometimes, we would simply sit and talk about our day. He would unwind with a glass of wine while I pumped, or we’d quickly eat dinner while the baby slept. As our firstborn grew older, date nights turned into date days. Grandparents would watch him for a few hours while we ran errands, grabbed a meal, or even just took a much-needed nap. No matter what we did, the most important thing was spending quality time together. Talking over wine. Date night doesn’t have to be complicated—it just has to be intentional. Whether you’re keeping it simple at home or going all out, the goal is to spend time together, have fun, and nurture your relationship. Parents need to take a break from the responsibilities of parenting, as this helps reduce stress and allows couples to recharge, making them better equipped to handle daily challenges. By prioritizing their relationship through regular date nights, couples can strengthen their bond and navigate parenthood more smoothly. That said, making time for date nights after having children can be tough. If you’re anything like I was when I first became a parent, you might struggle with feelings of guilt. I didn’t want to be away from my kids—I felt like enjoying myself meant I was neglecting my role as a mom. I even worried that my son would think I didn’t want to be around him anymore. But I soon realized that taking a break, even just for a little while, was necessary. I had to ease myself into it, but eventually, I learned that a little time away helped me be a better parent. Date nights are a great way to spend quality time with your significant other and express your love. Stepping out of the house together, relaxing, and unwinding as a couple can make a world of difference. It’s a chance to focus on each other, away from the daily responsibilities of parenting. When you make the effort to "date" your partner, you’re showing that your relationship is a priority. It strengthens communication, deepens emotional connection, and creates moments of joy outside of your usual routine. Whether it’s a romantic dinner, a fun activity, or just a quiet walk together, date nights keep the spark alive and remind you why you fell in love in the first place. Close-up of colorful love locks on a metal railing, with a gold lock engraved with hearts and "love" in focus. If you are struggling with trying to figure out what to do, her are some date night ideas that have worked for my husband and I: Movie Night at Home  – Pick a film, grab snacks, and cuddle up. Sometimes it's not a movie but a tv series that we both enjoy. Cook a Meal Together  – Try a new recipe and turn dinner into a fun activity. This is my favorite. Go for a Walk  – A simple stroll can spark deep conversations. We do this every night after dinner. Game Night  – Bring out the board games or a deck of cards for some friendly competition. Dessert Date  – Skip the full meal and just grab ice cream or coffee. Taking a Class Together  – Cooking, dancing, pottery—learn something new as a team. Trying an Escape Room  – Work together to solve puzzles and escape before time runs out. Going to a museum - He loves history. I find it interesting but I love how he wants to teach me new things or show me interesting artifacts. Visiting a Comedy Show or Concert  – Laugh together or enjoy live music. Planning a Surprise Date  – One person plans everything, and the other enjoys the surprise! Indoor Picnic  – Lay out a blanket, prepare some delicious snacks, and enjoy a picnic in your living room. Stargazing on the Porch  – Grab some blankets, sit outside, and enjoy the night sky together. Wine Tasting - We both love a good glass of wine. Coopers Hawk is our go to! Home Depot - yes I have used Home Depot as a date. What I mean is, for me, running errands with just him and I. Not having to constantly hear "can I have" or "he hit me". Just enjoying each others company. Restaurants - Enjoying a meal that we did not cook and does not serve chicken nuggets and fries. No matter what kind of date night you choose, the most important thing is spending quality time together. Try something new each week or month, and mix things up based on your mood. Which one will you try next?💕